The man asked God, "What are all these presents?"
And God answered, "These are all the things I had for you, but you never asked for them."
I'd forgotten about that story until God reminded me about it
I would hate to miss out on an opportunity because I didn't ask a question. But it's happened. I've often dreamt up big ideas and planned plans only to psych myself out before my lips can form the words to pray.
The dream is too big
I don't have the money
And just as quickly as a dream is born, it dies.
So often I act as if I only have myself to rely on. As if God doesn't exist. So not the case. The point of having a relationship with God is so that I don't have to face anything alone. So I've learned to ask. If it's granted it falls into alignment with his perfect plan for me. If it isn't, it doesn't line up with my purpose. And in that case, I don't want it anyway.
But I digress.
A few weeks ago, I felt stuck. I've been home here in the Virgin Islands for almost a year now. And it's really been bittersweet. I wasn't able to find a job in my field, or at all. And it came to a point where it felt like God was kung fu blocking every job opportunity I applied for. Then, around December one of my dearest friends said she wanted to visit for carnival. And optimist that I am, I just knew I'd have a job by then so that I could show her the best time of her life. I'd calculated that I would need a job by the third week of March, at the very latest, so that I could get paid in time to have cash for her visit. January came and went, no job in sight. February, nothing. And by the second week of March I was seriously considering recinding the invitation. But, of course, the tickets were bought months in advance, and that wasn't an option.
Around March 20th I found the perfect job online, and the day after I applied I was working and I went home with cash. Even crazier, around the time I applied I started to feel like it was time to move back to New York. I've missed the city almost every day since I've been here. But I'd come to a place of acceptance and contentment about being on the island. And while I would've jumped at the opportunity to move back, there were so many other factors to consider that made moving back the very last thing on my mind. I knew that it was God.
Carnival is next week and my girlfriend will be here. I can't wait. Every day I'm in utter awe of God and how he can turn a situation around in the blink of an eye. I've already learned so much about myself and people from this job. (More on that later.) I'm overcome with gratitude. And I'm ecstatic for things to come.